what's up 2+ years later

anyone out there that still reads this? or rather checks in every now and then to see if ive written anything? just wondering, since it has been just over a year now. wow haha.

havent talked to Lauren since like Sat, freakin weird. sucks actually. shes always so lovely to talk to. but yea i ate at Gino's today/yesterday like usual - Tuesday special mmhmm! then there was Halo madness at Heath's, not to mention me pwning Super C on Nintendo...though didnt beat it. um yea got online, found out some interesting stuff about Episode III and Batman Begins. aaand that would be my day. my internets prolly gettin disconnected today so thatll suck, but hey its initiative to get a job. though a certain someone mentioned (hahaha like there was any other name) should give me a call upon reading this, or asap in general. miss ya girl<3

today im sposed to go take Ave to Old Navy for an interview, and need to apply myself. so well see, the Quizno's interview was rather vague...i mean if they need people then wtf. i duno. jobs are a fuckin pain to get one.

i jus got to talk to Lauren a bit. not once but twice. soooo cute, i think itd be safe to say i heart/crush her. *happy* =o) now for sleep, mid day...ugh.<3

Lauren from Manassas made me do this. on a whim. not technically but indirectly she made me, by bein so damn cute n sweet.

i duno, that comment jus put a smile on my face n in my head. and with that im off to dreamland like little nemo.

this was written just so she would see it. call me whenever you like hun, anytime day or night.

yes true believers, your eyes do not deceive you...I UPDATED!!!
HOLY FUCKIN SHIT! haha

Marta makes my day brighter. or night, early morning, its all the same with me. ive fallen for her oh so much<33

and to my friend Marin...youre so cute n sweet as can be. thank you<3

i started working today. i feel good.

XXXo

Date:	2003-08-19 03:57
Subject:	the best message i could ever dream of getting isnt just a dream, its real
Security:	Public
Mood:	loved
Music:	Avenged Sevenfold - Waking The Fallen...LISTEN TO THEM NOW!!

this is the only way i can think of to truly say how much i adore n love this girl:

(message via Friendster)

what does it look like hun? i will gladly get you
the sweatshirt. what size you think?

i miss you and love you.....promise

sorry for the shortness of the message. i promise
to write you more. but hey, any way i could your
physical address. i would WRITE write you, like
on paper.

oh yes, and i loved hearing about your dream.
will you tell me more when we speak? *kiss*

miss you kiss you
miss marta



*sigh*

...ive concluded i really dont deserve anyone cause i dont know what to do with my own self. what an epiphany huh? suckin at productive life since Junior year in HS.

Date:	2003-08-01 03:28
Subject:	dont know
Security:	Public
Mood:	confused
Music:	humming of the AC

Marta is an amazing gal from CA. i could talk to her nonstop. and i still have more to write about her at some point.

but then i feel weird right now. cause i know with Rachel im not the only guy she talks to or is interested in, and i kinda led myself to believe otherwise, but after not having talked this past week at all really i dont know what to think. not like we are together but kinda makes me sad knowing im not the only one. i have other people i talk to also but i duno, im jus weird like that. guess i wish someone jus wanted me and me alone. blahness. ;o(

forgot to mention me n Jenn's awesome hang out in her n Angie's room at Jaimie's house. got to talk bout a bunch of diff stuff that was so fun and jus layed there lookin back n forth at each other n jus wow it was great. hehe oh yea watched some kinda Shrek storybook cd rom thing they got for free at the movies. still dont see why i wasnt asked if id like one! lol ah well. then also we had watched "Dahmer" before the Jenn n Chris hang out. tons of fun was had. she bought me food at the mall! way too kind i tell you. oh and went in Ritz Camera, discussed our cameras and others, looked at the ones they had. anything else i remember ill add for sure. who would wana forget. <3 xo

Date:	2003-07-24 03:20
Subject:	SPLENDID
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic
Music:	none cause my comp makes it skip, blah.

omgosh this day ruled! I SAW JENNY BEAR!! finally after many months of talkin to her we got to hang out, and man shes jus sooooo damn cute. way better in person which says a lot cause shes amazing already via online. i swear i couldnt stop smiling or laughing or looking at her the whole day. AHHH! heh. her friends Jaimie and Angie were really awesome too, i had lots of fun. it rules when a cute gal has cute friends haha. they were nice n sweet n talkative which i enjoy. didnt feel akward at all. freakin outnumbered man! lol 3 girls to me 1 guy. cant say i minded. watched Pirates of the Carribean, took MAAAAAAD photo booth pictures lol, watched them lay on matresses, snapped a ton of pics, found out Candy Express has the candy cigarettes (THANK YOU JAIMIE!!!), imagine that huh, saw a dude sleeping on the job at the portrait/drawing kiosk stand thing (whatev), and omgosh i saw STARR!! Jenny Bear noticed first which was way awesome of her cause Starr looked over n Jenn jus happened to notice and pointed her out. its rarer n rarer that i get to see her so i was way excited bout that. she was with some LJ friends of hers i was informed haha, theyre from Chesapeake i believe? well perhaps theyll read this n say hi. or ill jus ask Starr for their LJs. think she changed hers, anyways...whew, so that on top of hanging out with Jenn and her wonderful friends. oh reminds me of one last thing, Jaimie seems very knowledgable and intelligent. sure was the talkative one but hey thats cool like i said. ah yes, what a day.

me n Ally talked some when i got home. kinda rough but things were ok between us before she went to bed so thats good. shes comin up here Sunday with Micah! you better girl!! heh.<3

Rachel fuckin rocks. shes been so super nice n sweet n i duno jus damn cuteness. heres lookin forward to no FL for you and hello to me comin to see ya in Aug!! yessir. and hopefully same in Sept., an early early present for my bday "fo trizzle" as youd say. ;oD racheldawlcore! lol

so many fuckin cool people i know i swear. oh oh oh Candice called out of nowhere! how amazing is that. SHOUTOUT MUHFUCKA hahaha. what happened though hun? i came back n you werent there anymore.

talked to this girl Alice couple days ago...scuse me i mean Marta. shes jus somethin altogether diff., i dont know what it is. all the way in CALIFORN-I-A but least shell be comin through to "visit" you could say since shes gona be playin keys for BT now. god how fuckin hott is that. and we talk each others face off. more power to ya girl. honestly she deserves an entry all her own but im hoping she will jus be on soon so i may talk to her.

oh jus a quick mention, though should write more. my friend Avery is prolly actually my bestest friend no doubt. we talk so damn much when i take him home, its awesome though. gets a lot of shit out and we know each other wont say anything either. Nick would be second in command fo trizzle. sorry Rachel had to steal it for a sec babe.

hell i need to write entries for many people!!! Rachel, Ally, etc etc, those are the first couple that come to mind but there are so many awesome people. i jus talked to them tonight so yea thats why i mentioned there names. dont get jealous people! oh wait gota mention Andrew, haha jus cause, n he needs his own entry. and plus i wana see him say somethin bout that lol. fuckin a...awesome people are my lifes blood. i heart you all.

Date:	2003-07-18 06:32
Subject:	People
Security:	Public
Mood:	excited
Music:	Eighteen Visions - You Broke Like Glass

I heart:

Andrew.
Rachel(true).
Ally<3.
Michelle(aka Meeshell).

and ill add more later...

Megan Ashley humbly, many times haha, asked me to write an entry all her own and thus i am complying as i speak. ok so this gal lives in Kansas, which she looked up is close to 18 hours away from me...not cool at all. but heres the good news ladies n gents, she is movin to Conneticut in August (correct?). that means only 8 hours away which is muuuuuch better. so yea the point is if things go correctly ill be taking a trip up there to visit her and im pretty darn excited bout that. shes a gorgeous thing, just a genuinely nice, sweet, cute, darling of a girl. i like it that she actually pointed out how she would rather get to know someone n talk than jus flirt and spit out complements all the time. maybe i am guilty of that, though i do mean it with the people that are truily great. anyways, a girl like that could only be a good influence on me. and the fact that she wants me to come up to see her jus really flatters me and wonder "why myself?" does she see something great in me? im not too sure. its crazy to say but ive thought jus a lil bit bout how great a girlfriend she would prolly make, upon getting to know her tons more and be on a more personal level with. i duno, is that lame or jumpin the gun? jus my thoughts i dont think thats too bad or much of a crime personally. so...i didnt know til a few days ago she meant i come up for a whole weekend! haha works for me though. cause she mentioned beach house, and that sounds really really awesome. oh and yea thats where the 80s movies come in to play (haha get it? bad pun). itll be way cool n fun. maybe if im lucky shell let me cuddle with her as we watch the movies. whatcha think cutie? i know she is gona read this so thats why i ask *wink* hope you like. and i told ya so! told ya id write it. sorry for my lateness, me n my friend Avery get to talking about this n that on our car rides home. one morning we sat and talked in his driveway, in my car at 4 in the morning lol, til two hours and fourty mins later. crazy shit huh? guess thats why id say hes my best friend of best friends, sho nuff. hmm, so yes to recap, our weekend trip to the beach up there is gona rule n be the greatest, and Megan Ashley is wonderful. anything else i should say hun? xoxo <3

Date:	2003-07-07 06:10
Subject:	so much said and more that will never be
Security:	Public
Mood:	indescribable
Music:	watching Pulp Fiction

i really dont know what im thinkin when i write this. but i felt compelled after reading my friend Michelle's journal. there seems to be such emotion inside her that i really am intrigued by, just through her words mind you. seeing as how were on opposite coasts theres no physical way (me = -job,-$) for me to get to know these things. *sigh* other than my close guy friends i really dont seem to find people like that around here. i dont know what it is, theyre always from other states. no joke. maybe its the whole distane thing that makes them so much more interesting. even so i yearn for people like that within reasonable distance of me. im mainly speaking of girls, i think im pretty much good on the guy quotient. seriously it would be so fucking cool to have some very close good girl friends to talk to n share things with. hell even maybe end up liking, dating, fall in love with. so yea, it just rules so much beyond words when you meet someone who is cool as fuck or talk to someone like that, since you cant always "meet" everyone. haha i love how i have the most inspiration to write things when i stay up the whole freakin night/morning. but yea ill end this one, i made a promise to another truly wonderful, genuine girl that id write her an entry. i feel like a DJ, takin peoples requests lol.

Date:	2003-06-25 04:16
Subject:	Meeshell the Wonderful
Security:	Public
Mood:	peaceful
Music:	Between The Buried and Me...how fitting for such a girl

this is gona be alll bout Michelle cause i say so, or cause ive been ordered to haha. but of course i want to anyways. she lives in CA but shes something very awesome i tell you. super sweet, fun to talk to, always has pics for me(!), shares her adventures with me hehe, theyre always fun to read, able to chat bout pretty much anything, always tellin me how sweet i am, haha pretty sure i make her laugh, a one of a kind shining personality, almost as sparkling as her beautiful blue eyes, one HELL of a dresser, and last but not least drop dead gorgeous to the F-U-C-K-I-N-G MAXXX!! in short, i heart Meeshell. once VA and CA become one after all the other states in between sink underwater then ill be a very happy guy. this is for you doll.
*mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!*
<3333333333333333333333333333xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

would anyone even care or notice if i went away for a while? meaning if i didnt get online like a fuckin loser all the damn time. would anyone call or even think bout me? sounds pretty damn selfish, but jus wondering. not like everyone i talk to knows my journal so they wont read this. sometimes it jus seems like im the biggest fuckin idiot or maybe i really am. idiot, fuck up, its all the same. *sigh* my lifes jus pathetic. on top of that i dont even think ill find someone great anytime soon. WHY DO I ALWAYS GOTA THINK BOUT THAT KINDA THING!!? grr i duno.

quick updates.

1. forgot to mention: STYLE! shes got tons (see previous entry)

2. ive also felt like i want somewhere different to live, a whole new experience. but where i know some people at least...such as NC.

3. Candice rules and you all should know it. jus thought id mention that. i heart that gal. xo

hm well today i was overcome by the feeling of unsurity. i guess thats a word right? anyways...im jus wondering will i find another girl like her. by now i know everyones wondering so ill jus say who it is. Starr is prolly the closest ive ever come to finding the one true girl for me. something about her jus felt right. we still talk and are friends, so not like we lost contact which is very good. im happy for her though with her bf n all. im jus hoping one day ill find "my Starr" aka the one. yea it sounds emo n totally cheese, but oh well fuck off. she plays video games for gods sake! haha how fuckin rad is that??? for me thats ultra cool. and shes totally chill with the guys, hangin out n jus sittin, doin whatever is cool with her. or goin out n doin stuff. plus a semi interest in anime and comics perhaps, i cant member? but shes jus fuckin rad. artistic! cant forget that. i havent applied myself in that field to great extent, but damn i really admire people that can do that stuff n do it well. if you read this girl i mean every word. you rock haha. fuck ill end it on this, only somethin me n her would know bout: GI Joe and cheese sandwiches. BEAT THAT. and dont forget the milk.

Date:	2003-05-25 08:01
Subject:	a day in history
Security:	Public
Mood:	groggy
Music:	Bleeding Through - Turns Cold to the Touch

on May 23, 2003, mr. Chris (that would be me) lost his mosh virginity at Worthless Fest in Buena Vista. to whom you ask? Between the Buried and Me's Fire For A Dry Coon...err Mouth. oh yes its true. that show was fuckin amazing. god my journal is so lame now lol. ah well. that was my Friday, saw Sheena with Sarah and Lauren (got to talk to her some more, met once before but barely, hehe i took her jacket n wore it n she had to get it off me cause i didnt wana give it back, it ruled and smelled soo gooood!), this girl Angela again, etc etc. met some cool people it was great. oh yea saw Corey! hes a fuckin great guy. damn gay ass push pitters. I F-U-C-K-I-N-G HAAATE PUSH PITS!!! and the damn fucks that participate. its so lame ass and retarded, if you wana hit against each other then throw a kick into the other persons face or somethin at least haha. more fun that way and specially to watch. oh lord there was a dude with a gas mask on, A GAS MASK for cryin out loud! WTF?? needless to say he got hit right many times hahaha. the boot from me and some punches, Stephanie hit him straight up lol, and yada yada most everyone pretty much. ahh fun times. damn hot topic lookin kids there too, specially mr.-im-gona-get-in-the-middle-of-the-pit-and-jus-bounce-around-everybody-fuck. those kids were wearin straight up face paint that was so dumb. it made our day to see them there hahaha. oo got to talk to Jon, hes forever the hottest guy here or anywhere for that matter. even if you straight you gota know whats up when you see Jon. i am and i know hes one sexy muthafucka. so many good bands played. Remembering Never is the fuckin shit! i swear theyre all beautiful melodic music one minute then crucial killer stuff the next. BTBAM nuff said, new shit is effin great, Dead to Fall, two words: carnage and demise, Caliban, oh yes, Scarlet, mmm always rockin, and so on. this one band Textbook Traitors were pretty good id say. they mix a lot of diff sounds together but it all comes together n sounds really awesome. ohh that reminds me i need to borrow Sheena's Remembering Never cd(s)! damn yea this whole thing turned out to be all bout that day. ah well. today i hung out with the crew like usual, some us went to see Bruce Almighty and it was really really good. got some Wendy's but it didnt totally fill me up. haha riding with Stephanie's fun or jus talkin to n hangin with her in general. shes fuckin cool as shit and aint no girl like her i swear. the most awesome girl to chill with the guys and doesnt give a fuck, jus bein her normal self. *whew* quite a weekend its been. todays jim-e's bday so prolly gona hang out with him n everyone, watch movies, who knows. need to hang out with Magen one day i swear. really hopin i talk to Robin again soon, its weird cause we started talkin n shes so cool, some things bout her reminds me of myself, but then we havent talked for a week n half or two. jus seems odd to me. ive called but always the same message picks up. she needs voicemail damnit haha. ah well, im sure we shall talk soon. blah Friendster is down right now and that means the end of the world. i need to check my messages!!!!!!!!

Date:	2003-05-21 03:22
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	exhausted
Music:	Darkest Hour - pretty much all of it

well i missed out on seein the Atreyu show the other night cause thought i would go to another show Monday for cheaper, but noooo it was more than i thought. so yea no show at all. grrr oh well. today ima get to see Darkest Hour and Majority Rule so that rocks. yea i mention bands n shows way too much in my entries lately but oh well fuck it, least im writing right? bought a Norma Jean shirt today, gota take it back and get a small cause the medium is like a medium and large size mixed. also bought a facdown records sampler cd and its really good. talked to Candice tonight for a bit, but wish we talked more like we used to at first. feel like maybe its my fault though im jus paranoid like that. jus hope things are ok with her or that shell be ok. shes way to great n awesome to be feeling down n stuff. heres hoping Target will call me about a job, need to check more places later today if i can get my lazy ass up.